Q: What did the polar bear cub say to its mother at mealtime?
A: "Aw, no! Not SEALS again!"
Q: What's a balanced diet for a polar bear?
A: A seal in each paw!
Q: What did the polar bear say when it saw the igloo?
A: "Oooo! I LOVE these things! Crunchy on the outside - with a nice chewy center!"
Q: What did the polar bear eat after the dentist fixed its tooth?
A: The dentist.
Q: What did the polar bears say when they saw tourists in sleeping bags?
A: "Sandwiches!"
Q: Why do polar bears have fur coats?
A: Because the seals laughed at them when they wore parkas!
Q: What's another reason polar bears have fur coats?
A: Because they would freeze in Hawaiian shirts!
Q: What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal?
A: A polar bear.
Q: What are polar bears called when they get caught in the rain?
A: Drizzly bears.
Q: What has four legs and a flipper?
A: A happy polar bear!
Q: How do you keep a polar bear from charging?
A: Insist that it pay cash!
Q: What did the polar bear put on the sign when seals were very scarce?
A: "Tourists Welcome!"
Q: What's white, furry, rides a walrus, and knocks a ball around the ice?
A: A polo bear!
Q: What's white, furry, smokes cigars, and stays up all night playing cards?
A: A poker bear!
Q: What's white, furry, likes to dance, and wears short leather pants?
A: A polka bear!
Q: What are white, furry, and have wheels on their paws?
A: Roller bears!
Q: What do you call a dream in which polar bears are attacking you?
A: A bitemare!
Q: What do polar bears like to eat in the cold?
A: A "brrr"-"grrr"!
Q: What did the polar bear say after a winter of feeding on seals?
A: "I think I'd like a salad!"
Q: What did the Polar Bear say when it saw a seal on a skateboard?
A: "Meals on Wheels!"
Q: What do you call a big mean polar bear?
A: Don't call it anything - just RUN!
Q: What do you call a polar bear wearing earmuffs?
A: Call it anything you want - it can't hear you.
Q: Why are polar bears big and furry?
A: Because if they were small and smooth, they'd be aspirins.
Q: Why do polar bears win so many races?
A: Because they're always in the "pole" position.
Q: When is a polar bear not a polar bear?
A: When it's in a "grizzly" mood.
Q: Why would polar bears be cheap to keep as pets?
A: They live on ice!
Q: Have you ever seen a man-eating polar bear?
A: No, but down at the restaurant I once saw a man eating chicken!
Q: What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a rose?
A: I'm not sure - but I wouldn't try smelling it!
Q: What's white, furry, and throws balls of ice at igloos?
A: A bowler bear!
Q: What's white, furry, wears sunglasses, and lazes in the sun all summer long?
A: A solar bear!
Q: Where do you find polar bears?
A: It depends on where you lost them.
Q: How do you put a polar bear into a refrigerator?
A: It's easy - just open the door. Polar bears like cold places.
Q: How do you put a walrus into a refrigerator?
A: Just open the door, tell the polar bear to get out, stuff the walrus in, and close the door.
Q: There is a big animal meeting in the Arctic. All the animals are supposed to be there but one animal isn't. Which one is missing?
A: The walrus - it's still locked in the refrigerator.
An Arctic explorer came face to face with a polar bear. Afraid of being eaten, he fell to his knees and started praying. When the polar bear knelt down beside him and started praying too, the man shouted, "It's a miracle!" The polar bear opened one eye and said "Don't talk while I'm saying grace."
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